When it comes to creating a sexual connection with someone, one of the most useful things you can do is play the long game. That means that rather than only focusing on what can happen tonight or right now, you lay the foundation for the future. Of course, there’s still plenty of possibility for a […]

Here’s a question that someone sent to me that is definitely worth asking: Is it possible to accidentally sexually assault someone? My short answer: yes. And I think there’s a lot to say about this. One of the biggest difficulties when we’re talking about sexual assault and consent is the question of what consent is […]

One of the things I’ve noticed is that a lot of people seem to think that if they could just figure out the perfect setup, or find the right communication patterns, or create the ideal situation, their relationships would be stable. In fact, I used to believe that myself. And I eventually came to see […]

Last night, I was chatting with a friend and we started talking about how a lot of people just don’t get her. While she and I clicked pretty much from the start, she told me that when she meets people, they don’t always have the same easy conversation and connection that she and I have. […]

One of the things that often surprises people is the fact that being queer, kinky, and poly doesn’t have to mean that someone is promiscuous. “Promiscuous” is such an interesting word. My dictionary has two definitions for it: having or characterized by many transient sexual relationships demonstrating or implying an undiscriminating or unselective approach; indiscriminate […]

On a recent plane trip, I had the row to myself. I turned off all three video screens in my row because I dislike having a movie or TV show running if I’m not looking at it. Moving images catch my eye and I find it easier to not have them going than to ignore […]

I’ve been leaning into some edges lately and learning how to ask people for help. Specifically, asking people I don’t know well for things has been a difficult thing for me. It’s been coming up since I’ve been on tour for The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure because I’ve asked a few people I didn’t […]