There’s an old saying that “luck favors the prepared.” It means that if you want to be ready to take advantage of the opportunities of that random chance offers, it helps to have things set up in advance. That kept coming to mind when I read The Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty: How to Maintain – or Regain – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life, by Joan Price.
As a sex & relationship coach, I’ve worked with a lot of clients who were struggling to figure out how to make sex work as they got older. Some of them were facing medical issues that affected pleasure or mobility. Some of them were getting back out into the dating world after divorce or death of a partner. Some of them simply wanted to find new ways to experience pleasure, whether on their own or with someone else. But one common question they all had was: “where do I go to get information about my situation?”
I’ve always been happy to point them to Joan’s other books because they were full of useful tips and suggestions. But Joan isn’t the sort of person to sit still. The Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty offers even more info and resources than her previous guides, and she delves into some topics that nobody else has been willing to explore.
I especially liked her section on dating and relationships. She talks about some common experiences for people who have never been partnered, those who are divorced, and those who have become widowed. Never having faced some of the issues she describes, I’d never really thought about how they would affect sex and dating. I also enjoyed reading the quotes from folks who had decided that while they wanted sex and companionship, they didn’t want to create another partnership with anyone. Seniors having friends-with-benefits is a logical answer to that, and this is the first book I’ve seen that talks about how to make that work.
That was one of the places where that saying came to mind. If you know that FWBs are a possibility, it becomes a lot easier to consider that option if the time comes. And if you know about some of the other relationship concerns that older folks often face, you’ll be more able to deal with them when you get there. And that’s the thing- if you’re lucky, the question of sex for seniors will be relevant to your life, sooner or later. The more you know now, the less challenging it’ll be.
That’s why I think everyone should read The Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty. If you’re already over fifty, it’s a no brainer. There’s a whole lot of info that you can use. But if you aren’t yet, I hope you will be someday. And while most younger folks don’t spend a lot of time thinking about older people having sex, I think that you’re better off if you do. If you spend the first fifty years of your life ignoring the fact that older folks have sex, or worse, if you make it into a joke or a target of mockery, you’re setting yourself up for a really rough time when you get to that age. You’ll have to overcome all that habit and belief that you can’t be sexual, and that’s going to make things even more difficult when you’re trying to deal with how the challenges of getting older affect your sex life.
So if you want to get lucky when you reach that point, your best bet is to start preparing now. Change your attitudes about older people and sex, and pick up a copy of The Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty: How to Maintain – or Regain – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life. You’ll be glad you did, and a lot sooner than you think.